We Don't Just Experience Life—We Interpret It
Perception is a concept that, if better understood, could dramatically improve our relationships. Two people can live through the same event and experience it very differently. This is especially visible when people listen to a political speech in the United States—responses vary widely depending on the information people have previously accumulated and the values they hold.
We see this in less charged situations as well. Imagine being on vacation and encountering a rainy day. Most people would interpret that as unfortunate. Yet I was once in the desert region of the Australian Outback at Ayers Rock when it rained, and the local people were jubilant. Rain there is rare and essential to life. Meanwhile, some people on my tour were annoyed because it wasn't safe to climb the Rock—something they had been anticipating.
If you've ever watched a movie with a friend where the ending was left open, you've probably noticed that you didn't agree on what happened next.
There is rarely an event that evokes the same story in everyone.
Consider this common scenario: you walk into a room where a small group of people is talking, and when they see you, they stop. What story do you tell yourself? Many people immediately assume they were being talked about—and not kindly.
It's not just what happens that matters. It's the story we tell ourselves about what happens that shapes how we experience it. This is completely normal. Everyone does this.
What We Mean by "Stories" in Mental Freedom®
When we talk about "stories" in Mental Freedom®, we're referring to the assumptions, conclusions, and interpretations we create about events. These are not lies or delusions; they are simply our attempts to make meaning of what we experience.
Common stories people tell themselves include:
- "They don't care about me."
- "This always happens to me."
- "I must have done something wrong."
Stories help us create coherence—but they are still interpretations, not facts.
How Stories Shape Emotional Experience
Stories matter because perception involves more than raw data. First, there is an event—the observable facts. For example: people stopped talking when I entered the room. That's all you know.
Next, you interpret the event by telling yourself a story about why it happened. Because you don't have enough information, the explanation you generate is necessarily an assumption. You might think:
1. "They're talking about me." (negative) 2. "They're having a private conversation." (neutral) 3. "They're planning a surprise for me." (positive)
We tend to create stories to bring closure and to make sense of other people's behavior. Because humans have a built-in negativity bias, we often default to the most painful explanation—even when there's no evidence to support it.
When the story we tell widens the gap between what we perceived and what we wanted to happen, discomfort increases. That discomfort shows up emotionally and often physically as well.
The stories we tell ourselves are part of how we respond to situations. They influence how we feel and how we move forward—but they are not acting alone. In Mental Freedom®, stories don't operate in isolation—they work alongside our emotions, actions, and physical responses as part of how we engage with the world. Depending on the story you tell yourself in this scenario, you might experience:
1. Sadness or embarrassment, along with tension in your body 2. Little emotional or physical change 3. Excitement or anticipation, perhaps even butterflies
Emotions don't arise in a vacuum. They are connected to how we interpret what's happening.
Why Stories Often Go Unquestioned
Stories can become so familiar that we stop recognizing them as stories at all. Instead, we treat them as unquestionable truth.
Our interpretations are shaped by:
1. Past experiences – which create expectations for what will happen again 2. Emotional reasoning – where current feelings color how we interpret events 3. Negativity bias – a survival mechanism that prepares us for danger, but often generates worst-case scenarios in everyday life
Believing a story doesn't make it true. It also doesn't make it false. It simply makes it one possible interpretation.
When Stories Reduce Mental Freedom
Mental Freedom is diminished when the stories we tell ourselves increase suffering, assign blame, or limit our perceived choices.
The problem isn't that we create stories—it's that we treat them as facts.
The Mental Freedom Shift: From Story to Choice
One core Mental Freedom skill is learning to notice when you are telling yourself a story and then separating the observable facts from your interpretations and assumptions.
This isn't positive thinking. It's honest, grounded awareness.
When you recognize a story—especially one that hurts—you create space for choice. You may decide to hold the story more lightly or consider alternative explanations that are neutral or less painful.
You're not denying reality. You're expanding it.
Applying This in Real Life
If your partner is late meeting you after work, all you know is that your partner is late. A painful story might be that they're with someone else or that something terrible has happened.
If your boss asks to see you in their office, you might immediately assume you're in trouble.
If your child has unexplained nosebleeds, your mind might leap to frightening conclusions.
The practice here isn't to eliminate stories—it's to become curious enough to ask, What else could be true? You don't need certainty—just alternatives to the default worst-case scenario.
Stories Can Be Revised
Once you recognize that there are options, you're no longer trapped inside a single interpretation. Stories are drafts, not final versions. You're free to revise them—or set them aside altogether.
What story are you telling yourself right now—and how is it shaping what you feel and do?