The Hidden Cost of Being Right
You may win the argument, but there is often a price:
- You might lose connection.
- Your influence may be reduced.
- Trust may be compromised.
- Your peace may be compromised.
Why We Hold Onto Being Right
Being right often helps us satisfy important needs:
- If I'm right, I don't have to question my position. This can help satisfy our need for Safety & Security.
- If I'm right, I feel respected and important. This can help meet our need for Significance.
- If I'm right, nobody gets to tell me what to do. This can help satisfy our need for Freedom.
The challenge is that the very thing helping us satisfy one need may be hurting others. When we make being right the goal, it can damage some of our most important relationships. You can explore this needs-based framework further in Why Trying to Control Other People Is Exhausting.
Mental Freedom® Perspective
The better question isn't, "Am I right?"
The better question is, "Is this helping me get what I want?"
You may be right that your spouse forgot something. You may be right that your coworker made a mistake. You may be right that your adult child is making a poor decision.
The question is whether proving you're right helps you get what you ultimately want.
Winning an argument and influencing a person are not the same thing. In fact, sometimes the harder we work to prove we're right, the less influence we have.
Being right may satisfy a need in the moment, but it doesn't always help us get what we want in the long run.
Reflection
What would happen if you focused less on being right and more on being effective?