One of the most important Mental Freedom® skills you can develop is learning to separate what happened from the meaning you assign to it. What happened is often much simpler than the meaning we attach to it.
Facts
Facts are the parts of an event that someone else could reasonably observe. Examples:
- They didn't return your text.
- They walked past without speaking.
- They canceled the meeting.
Those are facts. Everything that comes after is interpretation.
Stories
Stories become easier to recognize when you're willing to consider that what you're telling yourself may not be true. The stories we tell ourselves often seem so logical that, if we repeat them often enough, we eventually stop questioning them.
You can identify a story by asking yourself, "Do I unequivocally know that to be true? What evidence do I have?" If you've drawn conclusions based on piecing together facts with assumptions or inferences, you have a story. Your story may eventually prove to be accurate… or it may not. Until you know, it's still a story.
Once you recognize the story you're telling yourself, the next question becomes, "How could I respond?" That's exactly what Response-Able: When Helping Helps and When It Hurts explores.
Meaning
Once we've created a story, it doesn't take long to assign meaning to it. In fact, it often happens almost simultaneously. The stories we tell ourselves quickly become conclusions about ourselves, other people, or our relationships.
- They don't like me.
- They misunderstand me.
- They don't want me here.
- I know they are lying to me.
Creating Space
Our minds move remarkably fast. We observe something, create a story, assign meaning, and react—often within seconds.
The problem is that we may be reacting to our interpretation instead of reality.
Mental Freedom® invites us to slow down long enough to ask:
1. "What actually happened?" 2. "What story am I telling myself?" 3. "What else could be true?"
When we recognize we've created a story, no matter how true it feels, we create space to consider what else might be true. That space often prevents unnecessary pain while we gather more information.
The space between what happened and what it means is where Mental Freedom® lives.
The Mental Freedom® Experience teaches you how to slow down this process in real time so you can respond intentionally instead of reacting automatically.
Reflection
What might change in your life now if your current interpretation isn't the only possible explanation?